The Ass Has It

Slow in the making these ones. long on the love. drabbest day of the year so far so why the fuck not get it together to share. actual, in the flesh, motherfuckers coming when the day breaks on a cleaner brain.

Cover Your Shame

Nomeansno - Forward to Death (Dead Kennedys)...prove proud that a capella is not solely for the creeps, the high school theater dweebs and the precious, assholish.

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - All Tomorrow's Parties (the Velvet Underground)...you've heard it. here it is again. fucking amazing.

Some Girls - Release the Bats (the Birthday Party)...is this sequence cheating? nick cave is nick cave is nick cave? fuck it. a one armed man and four talented maniacs laying waste to the australians.

The Blood Brothers - Under Pressure (Queen)...in my scatterbrained, screaming opinion one of the most inspired and glorious covers ever set to wax. WAA-WAAAA-WAAAAAAAAA-WWAAAAAUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Crooked Fingers - When U Were Mine (Prince)...who knew the lavender kid's sexual reflections could have such a mournful tone. beautiful.

Butthole Surfers - Hurdy Gurdy Man (Donovan)...i still find this song kinda terrifying.

Coalesce - Whole Lotta Love (Led Zeppelin)...i didn't give two shits for led zeppelin until i heard coalesce's monstrous homage 'there is nothing new under the sun'. now i hate robert plant.

Shellac - '95 Jailbreak (AC/DC)...what doesn't steve albini make better? arguably todd trainer is the real rescue on this one with his blousy propulsions but that squeal would've made bon smile, all right. FREEDOM!

Song of Zarathustra - Tame (Pixies)...like every good white collegiate i took in way too much pixies way too early on and now i sing them unintentionally. never want to listen to them. soz always makes me reconsider. also, the guitar player from the hold steady is in this band which is pretty fucking rad.

Fudge Tunnel - Lowdown (Wire)...badass.

Mighty Caesars - 1977 (the Clash)...joe strummer at the bottom of a genny cream can. the only band that matters, they say come out of some motherfucking amrep act. rad.

The Afghan Whigs - Mr. Superlove (the Ass Ponys)...no one gives a crap about the ass ponys other than the afghan whigs, it seems which makes perfect sense. they're wimpy and fat. but this version of their track is epic and earnest as they go. don't seek out the original.

Cult of Youth - Today Your Love, Tomorrow the World (Ramones)...my favorite ramones song through a neofolk (a genre most famously populate by a pair of gay nazis) acoustic act. i should hate this but it's actually fucking brilliant.

Slayer - Filler/I Don't Wanna Hear It (Minor Threat)...it's fucking slayer fucking covering two fucking songs by minor threat. what the fuck did you expect?

Superchunk - Girl U Want (Devo)...i could listen to superchunk play the goddamn phonebook. thankfull, i don't have to because they'd rather shred devo.

Naked City - James Bond Theme (John Barry & Orchestra)...best thing ever created by a man named barry. john zorn knew that. that's why this song exists.

Dead Horse - Rock Lobster (the B-52s)...southern fried metal men enjoying one of the most indescribably wonderful songs ever recorded.

Leatherface - Message in a Bottle (the Police)...punk rock joe LOVES this band. i don't. i've tried. fuck them. dude sounds like he needs a halls so bad it makes me want to brush my lungs. but everyone likes this police song. so there.

Rocket from the Crypt - This Way Out (Wall of Voodoo)...i never once thought wall of voodoo was tough. clearly, i was wrong.

Cosmic Psychos - Some Girls (Racey?)...who the fuck is racey? evidently barry manilow covered this song as well. fuck him. this song rules.

Willie Nelson - Time After Time (Cyndi Lauper)...this is a beautiful song that only gets better with that frail pigtailed farmboy making it his own.

Jack Norton - Naked in the Afternoon (Jandek)...jandek songs are distant and horrifying. he is a thin, ragged man living in texas under an overwhelming cloud of obscurity. his ouevre is all but unlistenable but it lends to a loving tunefulness. once more, the original is not recommended unless you hate yourself.

Guitar Wolf - Summertime Blues (Eddie Cochran)...ENGRISH SUPERFIRE AWESOME ROCK POWER FOREVER!

Los Campesinos! - Frontwards (Pavement)...pavement are the shitty beatles. done and done. too smart for their own fucking good. boring as sin live but hot damn could they form an accidental hook time and time again.

Shame You're Covered


Harvey Milk - We Destroy the Family (Fear)...who knew you needed more fear in your life, right? i know. i know. i was surprised too but now i have to go punch strangers on the subway.

The Jesus Lizard - Wheelchair Epidemic (the Dicks)...if only every song were performed by david yow.

Crime - Hot Wire My Heart (Sonic Youth)...grumpy san frannies pissing all on new york trash art education. this whole damn song sounds like it's about to fall apart. makes sense when you're playing junkie.

D.I. - Ballroom Blitz (Sweet)...you know, like tia carrera did in wayne's world but, because this is a punk band in the 80s there's a reagan reference thrown in. why not? dig the air drumming.

The Walkmen - Tonight Will Be Fine (Leonard Cohen)...the best goddamn thing about new york playing you're man. i don't know much leonard cohen. that's a sin.

Archers of Loaf - Funnelhead (Treepeople)...did you know that the jerkoff guitar god of built to spill was in another band before everyone started pretending they loved eight minute jams? well, he was. this is one of their songs by carolina's finest sons.

The Geraldine Fibbers - Yoo Doo Right (Can)...who the FUCK covers a can song?

The Horrors - Jack the Ripper (Gruesomes)...moody english kids gnarling brooding english atrocities. love it or lose a kidney.

Brutal Truth - Zodiac (Melvins)...you can see the geraldine fibbers track for audacity but the grind'we'remorethanametalband'core stalwarts do decent damage to this buried melvins track.

L7 - Bloodstains (Agent Orange)...the longer the academy's closed the more i think l7 weren't really all that great. but they were loud and i was terrified and this is the only agent orange song i know. so, yeah.

Black Flag - Louie, Louie (the Kingsmen)...i heard recently that the kingsmen finally settled their obscenity case and reaped a good fifty years of royalties off this track. good for fucking them. and good on black flag for having brief glimpses of party in their otherwise dead eyed strains.

Big Black - He's a Whore (Cheap Trick)...the last song on the last big black record (cd, actually). kinda like an astro pop at the end of a dustbroom gangbang. tasty as hell but...oh...so...cold.

Sonic Youth - Touch Me, I'm Sick (Mudhoney)...i think every band should cover this, at least once. also, it's nice to hear sonic youth play in average tuning. i think. fucking lee renaldo.

Flying Saucer Attack - The Drowners (Suede)...before they added london to their name they were off prancing pretty bisexuality. i was hooked. then i sucked i dick. now i'm straight. good song though. this version's all noise.

Das Oath - Why Don't You Get a Job (The Offspring)...no shit.

Entombed - Scottish Hell (Dead Horse)...satan kissed my dog. metal.

Birdland - Rock and Roll Nigger (Patti Smith)...for john burger. i really enjoy mouthing this song on that ass machine all the skinny bitches use at the gym. one day, that will get my ass handed to me. at least, it'll look good.

The Get Up Kids - Burned Bridges (Coalesce)...for melissa. this is an interpretation of a coalesce song called 'harvest of maturity'. less balls. more noodling. talented fuckers these bands. it's really nice to finally hear what sean ingram was vomiting even if it is a little fey.

The Wedding Present - Red Shoes by the Drugstore (Tom Waits)...the most adult track on this goddamn list. i like it. i wish there were a broke teen dancing for my amusement.

Megadeth - I Ain't Superstitious (Howlin' Wolf)...when i was a kid this was one of my favorite megadeth songs. now, i have none.

The Muffs - Rock and Roll Girl (the Beat)...kim shattuck makes everything better.

Screeching Weasel - Runaway (Del Shannon)...remember that cop show dennis farina was in way the fuck back when? that show was awesome.

Face to Face - Bikeage (the Descendants)...i've kissed girls who have never heard the descendants. i have made mistakes. best. punk. song. ever.

Pussy Galore - Damaged II (Black Flag)...you have no idea how rad i feel for having remembered, sought and found this fucking sub pop single. not the real one. i have beer to buy. but shit...pussy galore. you've given me so much in my time on this earth. godspeed you and your hate fuck.

Motorhead featuring Wendy O. Williams - Stand by Your Man (Tammy Wynette)...fuck elton john and kiki dee. this is a duet for the ages.

Thrones - A Quick One (the Who)...one man and an eight track turn an epic on two minutes. i miss the third act of the original but the whoooos in this are fucking fantastic.

Babes in Toyland - Watching Girl (Shonen Knife)...fun. fun. fun. kat bjelland has it for once in her fucking life. i wonder how she's doing now. not really. i never liked this band. i wanted to because the mean girls in high school did, but really. grrrrls never did it for me. but playing lovely little japanese...well, that changes everything.

Rock it.